I have apparently got a condition called PDA, ASD. It means that i appear to be (or actually actively become) extremely lazy – it’s called Demand Avoidance. I seem to be unable to commit to anything. There might be few more letters to throw in to the mix too (ADD, ADHD, SPD – who the fuck knows?) BUT I DO KNOW i have this ASD PDA thing, and those letters mean the world, and for so many reasons. You will learn the many reasons why during our journey together….
Anyway, i have had various websites, work sites, blogs and professional portfolios, but i seem to need to restart, refresh and begin a new era of writing for the hell of it. I have always partly written for myself, and half censored when it gets too dangerous, and even through the traumas that myself and (more importantly) my family have faced in the recent years, I have concerned myself with fight the fight and have been super conscious of what i put ‘out there’ in the big wide world. My world is fairly small these days – it never was. I am a a mixed bag of pro-artist, mediocre project manager and overly passionate warrior of women’s issues – that i have sat silently on for years – well silently no, but pretty quietly, i have been brooding this shit for a long time, and the egg has just gotta hatch – i have been suppressed for decades by one person or another – including myself, and now it is time to simply come out – break that fucking shell, the yolk even, and really expose what life is (and will be) like for undiagnosed Autistic Women/Parents/Partners/Fuckups… if we continue to screw our NHS by employing un-fit-for-purpose staff that will damage children and obliterate families in the guise of under-funded- lack of professionals that are not aware of the reality of Autism. People think this thing is a kids things – or the an ailment of the awkward chap who is called a frickin wierdo by the neighbours, the chap who never had a place in society (apart from HIS place)…the ‘retard’ the ‘spaz’ and the fucking mong stregth super creepy person who knows not how to behave in ‘public’…Well what of the freak-show psycho bitch who is smashing her head of the floor for no reason? She is a fucktard, a crazy attention seeker, a bundle of hormones and self-demonsing alt chick…or not. Why is this weirdo this way, and this woman this way..A reason called undiagnosed Autism – and it is damaging in every way, way that you could never imagine.
So i promised myself i’d write a piece a night – I’m not sure yet what form this is going to take – i am very political of late – and my business is not really supposed to show political allegiance – so this site is my voice for that i reckon. But by now i have totally had enough of self-censorship and worrying about HOW people will interpret my shit – because y’know what – i am a real person, with a bonefide condition of the mind, and I’m not just some psycho that loses her shit – i have a reason to lose my shit most the time – and this is my unashamed outlet of said shit, blood, piss and spit – and if you are lucky, you MIGHT, just might get a sneak peak in to my forthcoming book.
Look and learn,,,