Good Morning you git.
The beginning of the day:
The morning seems ok, The Boy starts from the second he opens his eyes, possibly before as he blurts out random stuff all night long, dreams, nightmares, what he’d like for breakfast, throwing stones, y’know, the normal stuff kids shout out in their sleep…
Anyway, we get up and he is as sweet as anything, he waits in his big boy bed for myself or my partner to go in to him (this is unbelievable and really don’t want to jinx us by writing it down, but hey). The boy likes it when the Small One goes in crawling to climb on the bed, wants him in bed to play with him. Of course he does, he loves him to bits. The Boy starts bamboozling Small One with hugs and hair strokes the moment he is close enough to reach (with a long stretched out arm i might add – the boy waits for no one). This is ok, it’s first thing in the morning, not too early as it happens and they sit and play nice with teddies on the fire engine bed, great.
Time to change nappy and go downstairs.
Oops, i said something wrong, he doesn’t need his nappy changing and I am a little git. Ha. It’s silly, he is still ok, but noticeably gone up a notch now i have asked him to do something, the most basic and routine task of the day. Uh uh. Not The Boy, he doesn’t need his nappy changing , I’m a sod and a git-swine. Even though he has been in bed 12 hours and his nappy is hanging around his knees, no he is fine. So start doing the regular, picking him up off the bed to get to him, he is actually still playful at this point, so will lark about getting on and off the bed, under the quilt, hiding behind teddies, generally avoiding all contact with me and being anywhere else in the room so i can not do this most simple of damn jobs. A nappy, it takes no time.
The boy decides to get more physical and rough and tumble with the Small One, we have to be a bit firmer now and stop the jovialities and get this boys backside changed before his bottom falls off.
He starts letting me change his nappy, he might even take his shorts off himself by vigorously yanking them down as far as he can in one aggressive pull, and with a quick, fast, kick of his clumsy feet, he hurls them across the room and far, high and as wildly as he can.
The the nappy, scratchy, because he has also decided to rip it off himself so hard that its soft velcro fastenings have all but perished and he is jumping around, tackle-out with the sponge like urine filled nappy caught on the end of the bed or storage box, perfect height for the Small One to make his way to, to start messing with it. Dirty nappies make great toys for babies and toddlers, who knew? they love them.
Right, bundle up the nappy, The Boy gets a hold of it, don’t know how, some magical enchantment which means he can grab anything within a blink on an eye and miraculously it ends up plonked at the bottom of the stairs, stinking and heavy and wet. Lovely, deal with that on the way down to get breakfast.
So we’re near new nappy time, but no. The Boy wants daddy to change his nappy. Yes, yes, avoidance obviously, changing tactics so he doesn’t have to do what we want him to. But hey, why not, it’s JUST a nappy right? Erm…not so. It is something i want him to do to move the day along. He does’t want to move the day along yet. The boy is enjoying playing in his room with the Small One, under these circumstances, it’s better than nothing at all.
Doing what we want him to is not just difficult for him, it’s nigh on impossible. SOoo many distraction techniques and it’s not even 7:30. I can’t keep up. Everything becomes heightened because the Small One actually wants juice and does not want to be harassed this early in the morning, and in all fairness, i hardly enjoy having a work out in this way, fighting a 3 year old to put a nappy on, or swapping between “want daddy to do it!!” that is fine, daddy can change your nappy. Daddy tries. “WANT Mommy to DO it!” Right Ok, finally he has got the whole family in his bedroom, seeing to his every whim. Yes a nappy. And on his terms, it is eventually changed. A little battle to get PJs back on, and decide on what toy to bring down to join the vast quantity already consuming the hallway, But HELLO & GOOD MORNING, we are on our way downstairs at last.
“JUICE, I SAID JUICE DIDN’T I?!”
I heard him the first time. Juice is already poured, right there on the table in front of his very eyes. doh!
The day has begun.