Pants on the radiator…

Pants on the radiator…

The Boy’s second attempt (or is it third?) at no nappies.

“Have you thought about trying him in pants?” says The Boys pre-school key worker. She is nice enough…but seriously.

What the flying shitting fuck do you think?! 

Are we idiots or are we conscientious parents?

Does it seem like we are unlikely to have bought him pull-ups, potties, toilets, steps, pants?

Do i seem like that kind of lazy, disinterested parent of my first born child who finds normal things difficult, to have never encouraged his normal and vital toilet skills, nay, typical development.

“It’s only that that’s holding him back” she says.

REALLY?! IS THAT TRUE?!

AND YOU ARE A CHILD EXPERT IN MY SON BECAUSE OF…..

AAND YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF HIS DEVELOPMENTAL MILESTONES BECAUSE….

AND YOU ARE QUALIFIED, Nay, INVITED TO COMMENT BECAUSE…?

Oh you have a level 3 qualification that you earned on the job whilst incapable of doing anything academic? I’m sure there is reason and worth for your job role, playing with children all day long, encouraging them to have kind hands, inside voices & hair-dos…….but DO NOT try and give me your ill-qualified opinions about my son’s academic ability, psychological capability and emotional, physical and sensory awareness, or lack of.

DO NOT, try and enforce your ‘professional expertise’ on someone who is professional and expert, and also the parent.

What you see aint what you get.

Think about the way in which you ask dumby parents whether they ever bothered buying pack upon pack of pants and pull ups for a boy who just wants to piss all day long. Think about the parent who has done everything in their power to get that child on the loo regularly without a loaded nappy each and every time, think about those who do not know or care, and maybe stop and wonder WHY the boy is not yet in pants. Just think. Maybe it’s bad parenting. Maybe it’s lack of interest. Maybe in fact, it is a developmental milestone that is currently unattainable regardless of how many times he asks to go the loo or how many wet or dry nappies he has. Maybe you all get the ‘fad’ ‘phase’ the ‘ok’ time. You have only known him a while. He has never had a shit at school. He holds it in. He is hurting when he comes home. He hurts himself at school with no desire to tell ‘teachers’…he waits till he home.

Look at the evidence. 100% consistent with PDA, dealing with people who have no training or real life experience with the conflict endured by the school-to-home environment.

Potty training, whats that? Each and every day is potty training, piss and shit training, training to stop The Boy taking off a nappy and hurling it 2 meters across the floor with a kick and foot flick. Attempting concentration in the utility toilet, desperately ignoring trike peddle twirling and cold seat tinky sitting. Wiping up shit off the living room floor. Trying to keep a faeces covered bottom off the settee, off the baby. Off everything. Just because he doesn’t even tell us, that he has done a shart. Oh no, or a great steaming shit.

Hi, welcome to our home, fancy a cuppa? A seat in the living room. Don’t worry, no concerns about the rancid tales of shit i just shared with you, the boy WILL sniff your seat as soon as you leave. Make you feel more at ease?!

Bin End.

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